Elephantitis of the Rock

Take the greatest orgasm you've ever had, add 1991 Jennifer Connelly (or whatever your male/transexual/animalized counterpart would be), then imagine it happened during a perpetual free fall. I didn't feel quite THAT good about the Devils' win over the Rangers last night, but it was pretty close.

It was great to see for a few reasons:
-The Rangers and Devils are passing each other going in opposite directions as the season progresses. The Devils are finally healthy (sans Marty) and have held it together through a very trying first three months. They are four points behind the Rangers, but have four games in hand on them. The Rangers are showing that their shootout wins are all that separate them from being a mediocre team. It's interesting how their top players are performing like the top Devils of last year - poorly.
-That MSG crowd was fired up and fucking DRUNK. I'm very glad to have stayed home, because my Christ, there must have been blood last night. We're talking about people with a number of holidays off, blowing off Christmas steam by getting to the Blarney Stone at 2PM and never looking back. I love it when these people are stunted by their crappy team's play. Drunken confusion always = HILARIOUS (when it's not me).
-The Devils definitely needed this win. They haven't won at the Garden for way too long, but it was also a good test - the loss to Pittsburgh the night before hurt, and a win against the Blues this week would mean little, since they're awful. This win was a great morale boost.

Also, Rangers commentary is un-fucking-watchable. The post show is literally corrosive. This is to say, if you were to touch your screen during this broadcast, your hands would quickly resemble stumps, like that guy in the 1986 Fly remake. How MSG got FCC approval to broadcast actual mutant fly vomit is beyond me.

Clemmenson was no joke during that 5 on 3. I was very, very proud of the guy. He showed real heart, a touch of playoff poise, like me at karaoke - a true gentleman.

I am sad to report that not a single Rangers fan decided to shoot Mike Motteau in the neck with a blow dart tipped with elephant tranquilizer. He actually plays like that every sinlge game.